“Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.” -1 Peter 5:7
Devotional
Today we’re not doing self-condemnation, we’re doing self-awareness.
Because the truth is… when you’ve been hurt, you don’t just “get over it.” You learn how to protect yourself. You learn how to stay ready. You learn how to keep your guard up so you don’t get caught off guard again.
And at first, those defenses feel like strength.
But after a while, what protected you in survival starts hurting you in healing.
Unhealed pain has a way of spilling over. You can find yourself snapping over small things, shutting down in conversations, pulling away when someone gets too close, or assuming the worst because you’ve been disappointed before. Not because you’re a bad person… but because you’re still hurting in places you never got to heal.
The truth is…you’re not “too emotional.”
You’re not “crazy.”
You’re not “difficult.”
You’re wounded. And wounds leak!
This is why God wants to heal you. Not so you can pretend nothing happened—but so you can stop letting what happened control how you love, how you communicate, and how you respond.
Because healing gives you your power back.
Healing helps you pause before reacting.
Healing helps you speak with clarity instead of pain.
Healing helps you stop punishing new people for old hurt.
Healing helps you stop sabotaging good things because you’re afraid they’ll end.
Sis, I need you to hear this clearly:
Your pain is valid… but it doesn’t get to be the driver anymore.
You’re not called to bleed on everyone around you. You’re called to be whole. And wholeness doesn’t mean you’ll never get triggered, it means you’ll know what to do when you are.
So today we choose healing.
Today we choose awareness.
Today we choose to stop spilling pain and start spilling peace.
Love you to life,
-Pastor Joni
Prayer
God,
Thank You for loving me through my healing process. Today I ask You to help me recognize where my unhealed pain has been spilling into my relationships, my reactions, and my communication.
Lord, I don’t want to keep bleeding on people who didn’t cut me. I don’t want my past to keep controlling my present. Heal the parts of me that still feel unsafe. Heal the triggers. Heal the fear of being hurt again. Heal what I’ve buried and what I’ve avoided.
Teach me how to pause, how to respond with wisdom, and how to love from a healed place. Give me the courage to do the work, without shame, without guilt, and without pretending.
Replace my pain with peace. Replace my defense with discernment. Replace my fear with confidence in You.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Reflection Questions
- Where do I notice myself reacting quickly, when I’m really being triggered by old pain?
- Who in my life might be experiencing the overflow of my unhealed hurt (even if they didn’t cause it)?
- What boundary, healing step, or honest conversation do I need so I can respond from peace instead of pain?
5 Responses
I definitely needed that. I been trying to work on that myself as well. But guides is needed. So that I can continue going in the right direction.
1. It really just depends on the gravity of the situation and what/whom triggered me that determines me noticing my reactions. Sometimes I go numb to not get further hurt and try to ignore it or I pop off but that takes a minute for me…depending.
2. I for sure know 2 people that gets my hurt the most but it’s definitely a cause and effect I’m tryna learn to work thru em but it’s boiling over. My father and brother.
3. Again it just depends on the gravity of a situation and the person to determine what I need to heal from them. But I do know that if a conversation is to be had and it starts to get heated I need space to calm down because I don’t do the yelling or interrupting no none of that. And I’m big on delivery and respect.
1. tend to react quickly when I notice old triggers pop up. I have mastered some of them but I have not mastered all of them and sometimes things still trigger me. I tend to ignore things a lot.
2. The ones in my life who care deeply about me at times when I’m only triggered about something. Not an everyday thing as I’m learning to master my emotions.
3. I need to learn how to control over what triggers me and have a private conversation with my triggers so they no longer control me.
1.) Where do I notice myself reacting quickly, when I’m really being triggered by old pain?
• Verbal abuse , growing up in a dysfunctional household we did not learn or know how to properly talk to eachother or listen to eachother. Conversations quickly turned into sharp insults that led to us tearing the house downnnnnn. Over time this has became a major red flag for me . People who speak at me and not to me , use emotional tactics to sway things in their favor of the conversation, or anything attacking my character / intentions can be very triggering .
• Unlearning these habits wasn’t a challenge for me but walking away from people with these habits has been hard . The unhealed girl in me wants to help them see what I later saw but sometimes words cut too deep , I get triggered , & I would often revert back to the same degrading speech that once degraded me.
2.) Who in my life might be experiencing the overflow of my unhealed hurt (even if they didn’t cause it)?
• potential candidates pursuing me in love
3.) What boundary, healing step, or honest conversation do I need so I can respond from peace instead of pain?
• Asking God for wisdom to navigate challenging situations & discernment to see what was going on spiritually !!!
• Not going into relationships, covenants , career opportunities etc with people that God hasn’t given me permission to pursue. I’ve realized that a lot of the reoccurring pain I’ve experienced is because I was in places , environments, relationships etc that God never called me to. I didn’t constantly feel thrown off or that I was going in cycles because those connected to me were no longer a source of pain. I aligned my friends , suitors , and career with equally yoked people. What used to be a stumbling block wasn’t anymore so it became easier for me to navigate healing in this area
• allowing God to show me what was going on spiritually helped me to learn how to pray through situations vs responding emotionally. I learned that God was teaching me in everything so I became a student to pain honestly. Always trying to understand what God is teaching me rather taking offense .
Where do I notice myself reacting quickly, when I’m really being triggered by old pain?
1. People misunderstanding me. When others go off someone else’s opinion of me rather than just getting to know me for themselves.
2. Sometimes my son
3. What boundary, healing step, or honest conversation do I need so I can respond from peace instead of pain?
Speaking with my son letting and having more real conversations with him